Hope, Enlightenment, Peace....or maybe just throw me a bone here and there.

I recently received this book in the mail from my MIL and FIL. I haven't started reading it yet, but am sort of waiting for the perfect time to crack it open. Is that my anxiety controlling this very trivial thing, reading a book? Probably, yes. :) Right now I am reading Pride and Prejudice, and we all know how that ends, and it is safe right? This book, not sure how it will end and what exactly it will say in the middle either. Exciting......

but it is safe to say that it will probably make me feel like we (Connor and I) could have it worse. 

I am curious to see his, Scott Stossel's, take on where all of this anxiety comes from, and why it is so prevalent.  I do feel like everyone I talk to has some level of anxiety. Which I suppose is natural and good. If we had zero anxiety, that would be really bad....sociopathic type bad. I am talking about anxiety that at some point debilitates you, stops you in your tracks. Maybe not physically stops you, because usually there is a lot of pacing and shaking going on when our anxiety decides to show itself, but shuts you down mentally and emotionally. Why are the numbers of clinically anxious people on the rise? 

I tend to look at things from an environmental point. Meaning that while I do believe that it is passed down in DNA, I strongly believe that our environment is HUGE in contributing to the level of anxiety that presents itself. For Connor, I have found that if he feels like his options are being taken away or he is "stuck," he becomes more and more anxious. Control. So as you might guess, school, bedtime, and any other time that is determined by time restraints and structure are incredibly challenging. On the flip side of that, we are constantly told that structure is imperative in making a child feel secure. So........what to do, what to do. Most days I feel like we are dealing with this anxiety because we are doing what we are "supposed to be doing." I mean, how do you explain to a child why we do things one way and not the way that is more comfortable? Are we trying to fit into something that we just aren't meant for? 

"Just do it because I said so." I heard that so many times growing up and I didn't like it, but I was ok with it. It didn't send me into pacing fits and sleepless nights. And that phrase works on some things and not others. Chores, yes; bedtime, no. If I say that at bedtime, I am setting myself up for a long night of talking and working through. I'm not sure what I am getting at here, other than what is that insecurity that we can't quite get a grasp of? I think that I have grabbed it and taken control of it, but then it slips out and I realize it is an illusion. My brain will find something, it simply threw me a bone to tide me over for a couple of days. Thanks?

So, I am excited to start this book. I hope it reinforces what I tell Connor all the time. Your anxiety doesn't define you, it is part of you, but it doesn't define you. Don't let it.